12.1.10

Necessary Roughness, Week 18 in the NFL


NR presents


Necessary Roughness presents, Week 18 in the NFL :
Playoffs??? Playoffs?!? Don’t talk to me about playoffs. Are you kidding me? Playoffs!


the real scores of the wild card games…

…Cardinals 95, the Packers 87. The last team with the ball loses!
…the Cowboys 46-9 over the Eagles. The Philly WR’s feet were open all game!
…the Jets over the Bengals, 5-0. Ochocinco changes his name to Chad Over-Rated!
…the Ravens lead 28-0 midway thru the 1st quarter when the NFL enacted the Mercy Rule!

…beyond belief!


1st and 10…

The Packers had Neil Rackers, and they let him off the hook! The Pack doesn’t just play a team in the third game of the preseason…the Cardinals are who the Pack thought they were. It’s why they took the damn field! Now, if you wanna crown the Cardinals, then crown their asses. If you don’t want to crown them, then I will. There isn’t a team in the NFC that can score with Arizona, and as gross as it sounds; they will play in the Super Bowl. It’s time for the Warner family to go puppy shopping.

Was Carson Palmer throwing to an invisible, 8-foot tall receiver during the Jets game? Did he think Manute Bol was out there running routes? What was the deal, Carson? Maybe he has the bizarro version of the disease that Donnie McNabb has which causes him to whip passes at his receiver’s feet. If Donnie thinks that his receiver’s are secretly Dig Dug, then Carson must believe that his receivers have the leaping ability of Tom Chambers from Lakers versus Celtics (and the NBA Playoffs) for the Sega Genesis. Bengals fans waited 75 years for that? Who dey now Cincinnati, who dey now? Dey a team that gets whipped by Mark Sanchez in his first-ever playoff game, that’s who dey. Pass the paper grocery bag; I think I’m going to be sick.

Continuing the theme of miserable quarterback play…Towmy? Was that really you? Joe Flacco completed four passes for 34 yards and actually had the better day than the legendary, super-clutch, baby goat loving, fashion icon superstar, Tom Brady. I believe that’s known as a brow-beating, Towmy. All of Boston must have been crying teahs into their beeahs on Monday morning. I would feel bad for them if they weren’t a miserable bunch of big-mouths…the Pats that is. And Bostonians too, I guess. That playoff embarrassment couldn’t have happened to a better coach/team/city/fan base/Bill Simmons. That’s right Pats fans; this is the equivalent of a giant middle finger in your face.

Quick tangent: Leslie Frazier, you are officially this year’s Rooney Rule chump. Stop. Just stop. You are allowing NFL teams to sidestep the rules and exploit you. Someone has to step up and decline an interview. Let it be you. It has to start somewhere. Don’t be the token African-American interview. It is embarrassing. You are a great defensive coordinator and you will get a head coaching opportunity one day. Don’t lower your standards, especially for an organization as miserable as the Seahawks. Maybe since I’m Caucasian, I don’t have any business writing about this issue, but I feel strongly that some NFL teams are taking advantage of eager young men to satisfy/exploit a perfectly legitimate rule handed down by the NFL.

…touchdown!


extra point…

If anyone out there can explain LT’s Electric Glide video, please, please do. So far, my only rationalization is that LaDanian is a huge fan of Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim and wanted to make something Awesome Show-worthy. If this is supposed to be funny, then it is. It really is. If it is supposed to be serious, then it is definitely the most hilarious video ever posted on YouTube. The best adjectives to attach to it are “unexplainable”, “inexplicable” and "surreal". I’ve watched it 15 times and counting. What it do? Wave to your mom, she's in the stands. Throw that flag, challenge that call. It wasn't a good call. I didn't like that call. Naw!

…it’s good!

1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to do some gaming action on Saturday....

    ReplyDelete